Life Update: Moving in and project update

I’ve been through the moving/adjusting process, so I haven’t posted much. Moving in was definitely new and semi exciting. I’ve never lived in an apartment before, but it’s not bad. My roommates are nice and the bus stop isn’t incredibly far away, which I appreciate very much so. I did attempt to walk to campus, and it gave me new perspective on the meaning of hurt and tired. . .and the meaning of regular exercise that I should be doing. The new campus I’m on is already gigantic, so I just feel like I’m crossing an entire planet to get where I need to be (makes me miss my other university already. . .)

In terms of projects, the art book was halted because of lack of editing equipment (a laptop) and lack of any money at all to publish it. I will be getting a lap top soon, curtousy of my dad (thank you, dad :)) and I’ve created a 60 day indiegogo campaign for it to try and raise money. If anyone on here is interested in donating even the smallest chunk of money at all, it’s appreciated. I’m still trying to figure out a perk to give for those that donate more than a dollar. It will most likely be a mini artist care package that I would put together myself with a sketch book and some tools I suggest in my book. I obviously don’t have money to give everyone prisma colored pencils, as much as I’d love to, but I’m hoping most of the kit at least acts a starter for those who don’t really draw a ton to begin with.

Also, if you do decide to donate, the goal says $500, but that’s because indiegogo will not let me ask for less. . .so if I, for whatever reason, get to $500 or even $200,  the rest will be given to Marwen, the organization that will be receiving half the profit from the project.

For those who haven’t seen anything about my artbook project:

 https://rescloset22.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/summer-project-1-art-book/?preview=true

For those want to donate:

 https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/artbook-project/x/11907037#/

For those who want to know more about or donate to Marwen:

 https://marwen.org/students/learn-at-marwen/faq

And at the bottom of this will be my lovely face as well as some new drawings and photos for the art book.  . . .do the pictures make you want to donate more???? O.O (the drawings, not my face. . .and I was joking. . .)

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What it means to be ‘okay’

I made an article about a week or so ago in jest of the phrase ‘I’m okay’ because it’s a common response that’s generic enough to not be questioned fot deviating any type of societal norm. This time, I actually wanted to talk about what it might look/mean to be okay and what that really feels like. I’ve  felt it in spurts and being okay is one of the best emotional states I’ve ever experienced, aside from happiness. It’s a privelage, really it is.

What it looks like:

I don’t mean physical characteristics or anything like that, I mean what’s around us: our enviornment. Does it contain at least one or two people that act as a support net or a person to share our problems with? Do we have a place we call home that contains our basic necessities? Is that place consistent and does it give us a sense of security and balance?

Now, this looks different for many people. You could have one of these things and be fine. You could have none of these things and be 100% okay, but, even if you have nothing you have something. For those who seek and worship a higher power, that is your house, shelter, family, friends, and balance. It’s just not as much of an outward representation of it. Things unseen are only characterized by symbols, words, and prayer of some sort that have to come from the outside to get in.

See, ‘okay’ to most people I know is dependant on money (I’m a student, so to me, that’s what 95% of people around me, including myself, worry about.) It’s normal to lean on this and assume it’s the root of all happiness, but I’ve experienced plenty of times where I had no money and I was ‘okay’. I had a best friend to rely on, hobbies of my own to support my creativity, and a pen and paper always waiting for me. My best friend was/is my support net, my creativity was/is my necessity and constant, and my pen and paper was/is my home. All of those things made me feel ‘okay’ and still do, two out of the three of them just aren’t as available due to . . .well. . .time constraint.

What it feels like:

Feeling okay . . . .feels so good. Feeling okay, for me, is huge. It’s not the same as happiness. Happiness is a moment and is perpetual dependant on the day/month/year. ‘Okay’ is a greater state of being that means so much more than the blah English word and definition it was given. Being happy can be an accessory to being okay, but it doesn’t outshine it completely. Being okay feels secure, and warm, and content. It feels nurtured and fed mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It’s waking up and knowing that the person you want to wake up to is there, whether awake or asleep. It’s feeling warm water come out of the faucet and not cold water. It’s feeling comfortable with yourself. It’s being free to do what you want in a space of time that actually works. It’s not feeling pressured, forced, broken, or all of the above. It’s being able to go outside and feeling the days optimism implode in your face. It’s knowing that anything is possible and that you are capable of all things, regardless of the out come. It’s feeling that whatever higher power you worship is behind you with each step you take. It’s being able to eat and sleep and dream and repeat. It’s feeling great about every outcome.

This state is difficult to obtain because there are so many factors that make it short lived. I have a tendency to forget why/how I managed to stay there and only remember within the time I’m experiencing it. I’ve seen people with it that never let it go. I’m afraid to be happy/stable, so I don’t allow myself to keep it as long. I don’t know if you, the reader, have experienced that state or have maintained it consistenly, but I you have I applaud you because it’s about the equivalent to walking on water for me.

This is just a thought I wanted to share. If you have comments about this or want to share perspective on this, do that please. I love personal opinions and perspectives even if they’re harsh and make me huddle in a corner. I’m about as open as an empty jar. Please spill whatever you have in, it’s very much appreciated.