Bitch Mondays: My Name

For all of you that haven’t read my About page, my name is DiAnre` Renell Lazarus. I don’t mind giving out my full name because I know I’m not being tracked down by the FBI, I know I’m not being stalked, I’m pretty safe because I don’t pose a threat nor am I someone who’s interesting enough to be put under some form of surveillance. . .I’m boring :/ it’s a gift. My name is probably the only interesting thing about me and, just to be even clearer about it, it’s pronounced like this:

‘Die-on-ray’

Not ‘Die-on-rie

Not ‘Dee-on-ray’

Not ‘Die-on-ruh’

Not ‘Die-ann-rie’

Not ‘Dee-ray’

. . .It’s ‘Die-on-ray’

I’ve stopped correcting people a long LONG time ago. . .It’s a losing battle. I tell people all the time ‘you can call me whatever you want, as long as it works for you’. . .and that’s usually what they do. . .I’ve also had people ask me how I got my name, and it’s funny what people’s initial thouhgts are. These few I’m about to list are my favorite . . .:

1. Did your parents smoosh their names together?

2. Is it French?

3. Are you from a foreign country?

The first one was in middleschool when I was 12 going on 13. The vice principle of my school asked me that and I was so terribly confused because. . .what people smoosh their names together and give it to their kid?. . .It just didn’t seem like a thing. . .The second, I’m guessing, is because of the accent at the end of my first name. My middle name is sort of French (if you take off the two ‘L”s, you get Rene` which, I think, means ‘rebirth’ in French) but that’s a stretch. . .The third one, I just laugh at because I’m not from a different country. . .I’m half Jamaican, but that’s by blood, not country of origin.

The way I got my name was pretty simple: my mom said that when I came out, that’s what I looked like. A ‘DiAnre`’. . .I don’t know how you make the distinction of what is and what isn’t a ‘DiAnre`’, but I can’t really blame my parents. See, I was supposed to be a boy. The doctors told my parents they would be expecting a boy and were going to name me Jayden originally BUT, lo and behold, when I came out, there was an essential portion of genitalia missing. . .meaning that I was a girl, not a boy, so they had to name me on the spot. My mom also claims it was sent from God. . .I don’t correct her, I just have a feeling that the real ‘divine power’ in this had to do with how drugged up my mom was. Either way, that’s my name. Although it may be extremely weird, I probably wouldn’t change it for the world, no matter how many people can’t get it right.

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