Bitch Mondays: Dating

I’d have to say that I’m the worst candidate for dating . . .ever. . .I’ve only been on one date in my entire life . . .that should say something. Here’s a few reasons why I’m probably not-so-good with the whole dating thing:

#1: I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THINGS FOR ME

This has nothing much to do with the guy, actually. I’m not sexist when it comes to people doing things for me because it’s more of a thing where I dislike it when anyone does things for me. This includes: holding doors, pulling out chairs, paying for me (THAT one really burns me. . .), taking me out to places, catering to me, I hate it. It’s not because the gesture is an abomination or anything, I just feel bad when people do that because I also feel that they are wasting a portion of their life and time that they can’t get back. . .and that sucks. Also, if it’s something I can do myself, then I’d like to take care of it. I’m not disabled or handicapped, I’m fortunate enough to have all my limbs, fingers and toes. Unless I broke both my legs and became blind all of a sudden, I feel no need to be helped in that way.

#2: BEING TOUCHED

Granted, I love hugs and touching my friends in affectionate ways, but I probably wouldn’t be that happy about it in a date setting because even thinking about that stuff makes me nervous. Holding hands and all that other stuff would probably freak me out at first, just because I’ve never had it happen to me and I’m definitely not used to it. I already imagine the scenario in my head: A guy starts to reach for my hand and I fake him out and hit him with a Vulcan nerve pinch. . .game over. . . .

#3: COMPLIMENTS

I actually have no idea if this really happens often when you date. The first date I ever went on, the guy really didn’t compliment me, and I didn’t mind it much because compliments make give me this really weird warm bubbly feeling and it’s like. . .I can’t function momentarily because of it. Whenever people compliment me or my work, I have this weird tick and briefly pause before I thank them because. . .again. . .I’m really not used to getting them on a day to day basis. If someone told me I was pretty everyday of my life, I’d probably go a little nuts. . . .just a little bit.

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