Seems to be all I’m having. Not really many problems, but one big one. It’s like dealing with something really large and trying to condense it to a smaller size while still keeping it. That’s what I’m attempting to do with my current problem. I’ve succeeded today, in hopes of taking on the next round. Like I’ve explained to my best friend, when life gets chaotic, I like to treat it like a game of Mahjong.
In Mahjong (or at least the computer version I play on Windows 7) the objective is to remove all the tiles from the board. To do this takes strategy and sometimes dumb luck depending on the person. I use strategy. I always wait ’till I know for sure that I can see a pair of 4 identical tiles so that I don’t end up locking tiles in or missing one that’s trapped underneath another tile that’s the same. It takes patience, but it’s worth it. If you’re not patient, you jump the gun and pick too many pairs at once. Sometimes there’s no ill consequence to this, but If you’re not careful, you could end up with a tile stuck in between tiles that don’t have any visible matches, you could have one tile with its match directly underneath it, or the tiles might be right beside each other, but on the tail end of the board and not in the middle. I apply my amateurish Mahjong skills to life, which helps. See, if you take events that may or may not help you, it’s a lot easier to cancel out than you think. For example, if you plan to be a hair dresser, your initial thought would be, ‘Where do I go/what do I do in order to gain this?’ You could take online courses, actually go to beauty school, or take night courses at a vocational facility. If you have kids, than going to school may prove to be difficult during the day, causing a road block in one area concerning school, but to eliminate that problem you either choose online courses or night courses. If you’re a hands on learner, night courses would be your first step, getting rid of the two original options before you. Like Mahjong, you can have a plan to gain a 4 paired match you see by weighing the options of what tiles you can/can’t move. If you take away pairs that you feel confident will be safe enough to remove, than you take that step and map it out as you go along, creating and eliminating options ending a final result of either hitting a dead end/gaining your 4 paired match.
If you hit a dead end due to jumping the gun and choosing an option that you didn’t think through. . .well. . .it won’t end the way you want it to. You might end up like my former self a few days ago. . . .
I probably sound kind of crazy and a little weird for comparing life to a giant computerized Mahjong board, but it helps me focus less on the problem and more on the solution. I feel detached from it, allowing me to pull it apart and put it back together rather than sitting in the feet-up position and whaling because of all the broken, fucked up pieces I have in front of me. It’s what made me get up from a puddle of tears I was sitting in last Saturday, stand up, and say, ‘You have to figure this thing out whether it’s fair or not’. I wiped all the gooey snot off my face and sucked up all my gooshy emotions and just went with the little baby step Kamikaze plan I created along the way. What I’ve created for myself is kind of a suicide mission to say the least, but I’d rather take chances than say I didn’t tried.