Bitch Mondays: Sex

Bitch Mondays: Sex

My initial view of sex as a kid was biased due to my religion. I’m Christian, so naturally it’s assumed that sex holds a great amount of emotional meaning and intimacy that you really shouldn’t be thinking about until someone decides to marry you. My mom always (and still) loves to hand out the point of ‘your body is a gift, something that should be shared with someone who both deserves you and loves you’ and vise versa. As I’ve gotten older and, realistically, I’ve made a decision to wait until I’m in a relationship in which I know when I’ll be ready and when I can trust that person whole heartedly. Waiting ’til marriage is IDEAL, but when the time comes to seriously consider it, it’s more of a ‘we’ll cross the bridge when we get there’ sort of thing.

I’ve always been in school environments that kind of advocated the same idea, that sex was something that’s serious and if you’re going to do it #1: use protection of all kinds #2: be educated on the dangers of STDs and #3: don’t be a dummy and put yourself in a situation where you could wreck your emotional well-being for something that might last for like. . . .an hour. Now that I’m in college. . .I’ve met a whole new universe of the meaning and importance of sex. . . .I haven’t had it yet (just in case that range of curiosity was peaked in any way. . .which it probably wasn’t). I’m a super virgin, meaning that I haven’t even kissed or touched anyone or anything, nor have I been in a relationship, but that’s kind of what makes watching the process in which others in college interact sexually.

See, in college, sex is like going to Taco Bell, McDonalds, Burger King, Wendy’s, or any other fast food restaurant you can think of and insert into the list I’ve so brilliantly created. You go there, pick what you need/want, and then you get it. It’s exactly like that, except without the transaction of money. You go to a party or some type of social event, you find someone, hoping that they’re either drunk/horny enough to do something with you and then. . .yeah, that’s it. . .you just get it. It’s not very difficult (which has a tendency to bother me. . .) and it’s manageable. It’s weird to think/say, but if I really wanted sex I could just go to a party one weekend and . . .be tossed around like a bag of chips among many willing suitors that I’m sure would be different variations of wasted. Even without alcohol involved, the ability to sort of snake your way into a friendship with a girl/guy, and asking for a ‘friends with benefits’ type of relationship is easy too. I’ve seen it happen more than once here and . . . .to me it’s frightening because it just looks so damn easy. I personally don’t want sex that bad, it’s most likely because I haven’t had it and I don’t know what I’m missing. . .? I won’t really dwell on why exactly I’m not going and joining the very sex driven population of college students, but it just kills me how sex is so terribly casual. Something that’s for bonding, simply used for gaining a quick sense of pleasure, most likely seems odd to me merely because I’ve been programmed to think that sex is some holy and sanctified practice, but just watching people around me use that practice like a gooey, germ infested napkin, I’ve just come to a realization that maybe in this stage of life, that mentality makes sense.

Biologically, we’re all meant to procreate at a young age, so being so sexually driven at like 18 or even as young as 16 is . . . normal. Your body’s trying to tell you its ready to create spawns, but obviously, due to the pleasurable aspect of sex and the very unattractive idea of spawning anything in college that has any of your genetic make-up, the process of actually giving life to anything is deterred by contraceptives (condoms, birth control, morning after pill). So, sure, there’s justification for the behavior and don’t get me wrong, I’m no judge of those who heavily indulge in sexual activity. I just hate to see a special thing kind of be . . . thrown around without much sentiment. What’s the use in having any relations with someone you might only see once? You have the sense of pleasure, I guess, but if you had more attached to that, I’m thinking the experience would be more worth it *shrug* college . . .makes you think about . . .stuff. . .

Traffic Dos and Don’ts: A Checklist

I enjoyed reading this article, considering my blog doesn’t have as much of a standing. In terms of the ‘Do’s’ I haven’t been blogging consistently so my two main blog followers have probably forgotten me in the wind *sniff*, but it’s helpful because it really gives good ideas on how to upkeep and create a tasteful, enjoyable, and popular blog. The Do’s and Don’ts are basic and easy: nothing too complicated for the average person *points to self* to implement on their own.

The WordPress.com Blog

One of the main reasons bloggers stop blogging is lack of traffic: at some point, they get tired of being the proverbial tree in the forest, making sounds nobody hears.

We’re here to help. No list of advice can guarantee your blog’s success, but it’s important to be aware of the most critical elements at play. Five dos, five don’ts: give them a try.

Dos

  1. Write regularly. Producing fresh content on a regular basis is essential. First, it makes your blog more appealing to search engines, which means new readers are more likely to find you. Just as important, it creates a sense of loyalty among the readers you already have, who know you won’t be stranding them for weeks at a time.
  2. Write well. What makes a post engaging, moving, or entertaining is clearly a matter of opinion. What’s not a matter of opinion? Correct spelling…

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Bitch Tuesdays: Dating Sites

Okay. . .I hate to admit it, but over the weekend I HAPPENED to dabble in the online dating scene until like . . .a day ago . . .My roommate had told me about a site that was for college students to meet other college students. If you’re a fellow college student like myself, you’ve probably seen this site widely advertised on campus, in your school e-mail, or as a mini window taking up space on your school’s website. This site, for those who don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, is datemyschool.com. It’s meant for dating, but for ‘friendship’ too, and is advocated as SAFE and a site un-infested by creepers/stalkers. . .it even says it on it’s main web page before you sign up. . .because it’s not desperate for users. . .

First thing that kind of turned me off was that you had to pay actual money to use the features. I didn’t mind that so much until I realized you couldn’t do basic messaging or even open the messages people were sending me. The only thing free is the damn sign up. . .You have the option to tell people that you cannot afford/don’t want to waste money paying for a subscription on the site and tell them to e-mail/message you another way. I have six messages from six guys that ignored this, leading me to believe they were ‘decoys’. ‘Decoys’ meaning they were messages sent by the original founders of the site using actual users usernames and locations to get me to subscribe just to see what I received in my inbox. . .uncreative bastards. . .After awhile though, I had a belief that some of them were real, because I could see who visited my page and it correlated with the message, but. . .what I wrote on my profile was pretty short and sweet. I feel like they’re either decoys or people just don’t know how to read a three sentence paragraph in a description box. The only thing they give you free is the IM feature, but you can’t see what you’re sending to the person, which is just. . . there’s not even words for what that is exactly O.o I never actually FOUND the dumb IM feature, but I read other people’s blogs/websites talking about the so-called ‘basic features’ you get without the subscription. . . ‘basic features’, my ass. . .The most you can really do is just. . .look at/stalk other users and read their profiles. They’ll see that you visited, but they most likely won’t/can’t do anything about it. . . Main reason why I stopped using it all together was because it was kind of. . .boring after awhile. There are attractive guys on my campus and I feel like I could do the same thing from a window or while I’m walking to class, or while I’m eating lunch . . .which is what I do anyway, so it was a waste of about . . . .3 1/2 hours of my life. That’s like the cumulative amount of time I spent messing with it because. . .I’m just that lonely and bored over the weekends XD but I also feel like dating sites can be a bit. . .unrealistic. I mean, it’s one thing when it’s there for the purpose of setting a date with someone and actually meeting them in person like. . . a week later, but actually solely talking to someone online and having an ‘intimate’ relationship is. . . well. . . not amazing at the best of times. I’m kind of into cuddling . . .I can’t cuddle a monitor. I talk to people online a great majority of the time too, and . . . I just wouldn’t be able to do that because I naturally make many friends and usually nothing more than that. It’s like I subconsciously create that bar between me and whoever is online. I feel like that’s what the internet is for: to create relationships, but relationships that abridge us to others that would normally be outside the bounds of our country or continent. Not to necessarily ‘canoodle’ with, but to become more apparent of the views of others farther away and to create friendships. In theory. . . I feel like if you couple Skype and an online relationship. . .it could work?: I say that because you’d at least know that who you’re talking to is real and it would be the equivalent to actually talking to them in person minus the ability to touch which. . . I would kind of be bothered with because of my natural want to cuddle. . . but if you’re a college student like myself just. .. go talk to somebody. . .that’s what you’re doing anyway, you might as well try it out in real life, right?

Bean Bag Chat: Tips on attracting. . .guys sort of

One main problem that seems to be sweeping the residents hall, both in my building and I’m sure others, is the need to have a subtle, but deep connection with a guy. Everyone’s seemed to have paired up and gone about their business, which is why this is such a big deal (my roommate and I share this want). Here are some tips I’m going to give to snatch the attention of the opposite sex. Some serious, some funny, some. . .well some you might possibly get a restraining order form in the mail for, but it’s worth a shot 😀

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1) DRESS LIKE YOU WANT IT 

Now. . .this could mean multiple things, but despite the less classy context of this phrase, let’s revert to the cleaner one. Dress with confidence. This doesn’t mean dress with your God given woman parts hanging out of a top that’s clearly too small for you, this means dressing with some decency and a little flair to make yourself more noticeable. Be modest, but try to wear clothes that are flattering. Don’t be like me and wear something that you know is too big for you to make it look like you lost 20 lb.’s that  you still have. Try wearing things that are form fitting, and if you’re uncomfortable with that, try wearing different things underneath. Since the heat’s still blazing, wear a comfortable, but nice t-shirt/camisole with some cool/comfortable/colored shorts. Just make sure you don’t look like a homing beacon. You want someone to notice you, you don’t want the FBI to zero in on your location. 

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2) SAY SOMETHING

Anything. . .just say it. You see a guy, say the first thing that comes to mind. You have gas?: say it. You have to go to the bathroom?: say it. You ate something bad and your breathe smells like something three baby cats vomited?: okay. . .don’t tell anyone that, think that inside your head. Saying something face-to-face with someone you have an interest in can be the best way to start a conversation and actually get to know them. Don’t be like me and stalk them from a far and watch every move they make. They’ll eventually catch on and exile you off the island of . . .whatever the name of the fictional island you two inhabited. Try to communicate verbally with them and even give them a way to contact you outside of class, like an e-mail or phone number. 

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3) STAND OUT

I would suggest stripping naked because that draws QUITE a lot of attention among both males AND females. . . it’s a two-fer. . .but some people are uncomfortable with that and it happens to be illegal possibly, so . . .yeah, you can’t do that. To stand out you have to get involved. Join clubs that have things you’re interested in and the rest will come. You like RP games?: find a club with those. . .don’t come back and tell me that there aren’t dudes in that club. . .You like theatre?: find a club with theatre-like things . . .don’t come back and tell that there aren’t dudes in that club. . .You like sewing?: find a club that involves sewing. . .don’t come back and tell me there were dudes in that club. . .I mean. . .seriously, there’s only a hand full of guys who can actually sew that I’ve met in my entire life. . . you can try, but don’t be surprised if there aren’t a bunch of dudes in that club. Involvement in extracurricular activities is a great way to make a connection with people in general and make that ‘super special’ connection with someone you like. 

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4) PATIENCE

I’m the last person who should be anywhere near this word, but I’m trying my best to attain the embodiment of its’ being. The best things in life are worth waiting for. Cheesy, but true. If you’re a first year student, or even someone in high school, or someone who’s already a full on adult and you haven’t had a relationship, it’s not you. I mean. . .in many ways it could be, but often times, things like that take both time and effort. You could be the most confident person on the planet and STILL be single. It’s possible. . .I’ve seen it. . .It can happen. Sometimes it just takes awhile for things like this to kick in. We all have things about our personality that make us unapproachable. Things others see in us that we don’t. The person that took your change when you went to go get coffee could’ve thought your were the most beautiful man/woman in the world (I’m trying to make this less gender specific. . .I should’ve done that to start with. . .) or the person that held the door for you thought you were attractive, but couldn’t muster the courage to say anything. The little things about you that make things like that a bit harder to attain because  people may not be as confident and exuberant as yourself or even people might be just as shy as you. While you’re sitting thinking that no one is ever going to acknowledge your existence, think about all the people that couldn’t and what you can do in the future to open up to those type of people. Try to smile and speak and even assert yourself in a manner where you’re silently meeting everyone you meet half way, and then once you happen to find that one person who thinks your just . . .gosh darn beautiful, they’ll be so comfortable that they’ll reveal themselves and it wouldn’t be like a Spiderman movie where some random guy comes down from a string in a costume and tries to start a conversation with you while you’re walking down an alley way to get home (sounds creepier when you describe it rather than seeing it on film, doesn’t it?) Don’t confuse yourself with self help books, and Google and Cosmopolitan magazines. If anything, the best way is to find someone while waiting patiently, is to be yourself. Continue being yourself while going about your daily life, spruce up a bit, be a little outgoing, try new things and the rest will follow. I may not have experience in any of this yet, but I’ve had enough pessimism about this for years to know that it doesn’t make you feel any better. Be more optimistic. Someone’s BOUND to notice you and you won’t regret the little changes that make a difference, no matter how long the wait.

 

I feel like a bad ‘life changing’ infomercial  *gags* I hate those. . . 

Bean Bag Chat OUT *peace sign*

Music Talk: Lorde

I was supposed to talk about either Two Door Cinema Club or Atlas Genius, but recently (meaning yesterday) I discovered an artist named Lorde. The only reason I bothered was because when I get ready in the morning/go get ready for bed, I listen passively to the radio that they have in the girl’s bathroom that’s on 24/7 and there’s this song by Lorde called ‘Royals’ and they play it every. . . five. . .seconds O.O they play a lot of ‘popular’ pop music 24/7. . .anyway, I always ignored it because I’m like ‘it’s just some weird british girl singing with some hip hop beat in the background talking about . . .nothing’, but she’s actually from New Zealand and the song is about something, the lyrics are actually really genuine and I like the way she phrases things so. . . I was off . . .by a lot. 

She started out as a songwriter at age 13 and her mother was apparently an influence in her life in terms of writing. Her music is pop, but not just regular bubble-gum, or dance pop, it has more of a 80’s techno pop feel with a mix edging on hip-hop/R&B, but I think that edge more of comes from the tracks she uses. An example of that edge would be The Love Club, it’s got that beat in the back and the techno vibe is also infused in there, but it’s definitely a modern feel on 80’s pop. Bravado is an example of the modern 80’s feel I keep referencing towards. The timing she uses for the beat in the back is what kind of gives it that style and ‘ooo’ parts of the song that are layered with that beat in between intervals makes that come out too. Royals, the song that I thought was stupid until I listened to it and really heard everything, is a play on that hip-hop/R&B feel. It’s got this nice simple beat in the back and the low bass thrum underneath that kind makes the vocals less isolated and keeps everything together. It makes you want to nod your head to the beat, something you’d tap too, but nothing ‘dance’ worthy. This is no Katy Perry, Ke$ha, broken Kate Nash-wanna be  rip off. This is an artist. Granted, not all her stuff is amazing. If you’d like to delve into it, look up the 3 songs I’ve listed at the bottom and check them out. She also doesn’t sound amazing live. . . but not a lot of famous/popular people do :/ it takes a certain musician to have consistency and . . . I personally think I just found bad versions of a few lounge sets she did, so don’t take my complete word for that. . . . Check her out, download her, find out more about her, look at her face. . . her face is beautiful. . .and her hair is. . .God. . . O.O seriously, her hair is like the perfect mess. . . it’s a good thing. 

1. Royals

2. The Love Club

3. Bravado*

 

*If you want to get the 80’s style I pointed at sooo many times, listen to this one first 

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Bitch Mondays: Walking

Bitch Mondays: Walking

Umm. . . .this picture has nothing to do with anything. . . .I just like German bakeries . . . .um some guy I can’t remember took a picture of this and put it on dA some time ago and I kept it. . .yeah

So, I pretty much walk everywhere. No, it’s not to lose the freshmen 15 . . . .I came to college with a belly already so. . .technically I already had it by the time I was there. . .I’m always ahead of the curve *wink* Actually, I walk everywhere because I’m too much of a lazy bum to figure out the bus schedules. You’d think I’d be lazy ENOUGH to figure it out, but. . . .my lazy is so special and different O.O

So, I’m like the color of a blackboard because I’ve got the sun beating down and the blistering heat hitting me all up in the face. My first time around during the first week, I almost died. . . .my body hurt like no other and I thought I wouldn’t be able to survive. I tried stretching and resting, but my body continued to ache and I was in a lot of pain 😦 now, I’m used to it, but the heat is continuing to piss me off and I still have yet to understand the bus schedules. My roommate tried to explain it to me: didn’t get it. My mom sat on the phone for 15 minutes and tried to explain it to me: only half got it. My best friend even offered to make an outline of the bus schedule for me (mind you, she’s DOESN’T EVEN GO TO MY SCHOOL) I think I’ve officially only ridden the bus twice and that’s because my roommate was with me and she knew where they all got off at. . . .yeah, I’m definitely not an adult yet. I’m still in that transition process. . . .

Midnight Musings

 

I’ve been friends with this guy for awhile and I’ve introduced him to another friend of mine and he seems to really like her which is good. When I share my friends, though, I have a tendency to get kind of. . . .territorial. This time, I’m being okay with it and trying not to be so defiant and stubborn because this friend that I’ve introduced my newfound friend to, I feel like after this year we might be kind of distant. Now this is a friend that I share lots of things with and have gained a sense of confidence with, but for some reason my mentality has been to distance myself. I’ve been listening to my emotions for these last few weeks and he’s the one that told me to use my logic to solve my problems . . .what if my logic is telling me that I should create a gap between the two of us? It’s not that I feel it’s for the best, I’m just using my head for once and I feel like I’ve put a lot of importance on him that I’m not sure I should. He’s there and he wants to be, but I feel like being a ‘lone ranger’ isn’t too bad. I need to learn how to cope with not having someone to use as a crutch and not clinging to familiarity with both hands and running with it. 

 

In terms of ‘sharing’, I’ve always kept my good friends or friends that I feel are closer to me secret from others. The reason why I would do this is because I had sharing issues. I lived in a house with five other kids for most of my life, I shared EVERYTHING. Those special friends I had were mine and no one else’s . . .at least that’s the mentality I used to have. Now I feel like maybe sharing is okay and maybe it’ll help me stop using my friend as an emotional crutch and actually moving forward slightly. 

 

There are so many new things at my disposal. So many challenges and difficulties and new experiences that I may/may not jump in to. I just feel like I’m way too much of a dependent person and he, as well as another person even closer to me than him, has been there for me and baby stepped me through everything. This maturity thing, it’s kind of hard XD I’ll admit it’s a pain and I feel like I’ll always need a hug now and again, but I also kind of see the reality of being alone for awhile. I’m quiet, reserved, kept to myself. I’m even making an effort to be apart of activities and still feel so separate, not really apart of anything. I have so much school work and studying that I’m lucky I can even be in one activity and I’m enjoying the little things, while still dealing with work that’s getting harder. 

Life isn’t getting any easier, but it is what is for now. 

 

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NOTE: I will have more substantial things to post rather than things about myself XD this is a personal blog, but also a blog about other people, so hopefully I can make that happen later today when it’s not midnight . . .