Okay. . . .now I don’t mind the occasional crush now and then, but the one I have has been messing with my head and, honestly, it’s getting on my laaaaast nerve. . . . .I hate it with a passion. . . .
See, I’m one of those people who, if I have an interest in someone, they NEVER know, and I make sure of it because I inadvertently find it fair to make myself miserable. . . Your mind is NOT your friend. Now, I’ve known for awhile and some and I talk to this guy nearly every day and we have a lot in common and he’s freakishly awesome, but he doesn’t know I like him and he never will O.O. . .it’s time to bitch. . .
So. . .why is this a pain in the ass?: it’s because I want to tell him, but I’m to weak and spineless to do it and I’m afraid of numerous things. I know, the things I’m complaining about are quite childish and simple and. . .kind of stupid because there’s a solution to the problem which would be to tell him, but if I do, here’s the possible results that I thought might come to fruition:
Either A: he won’t be my friend anymore and he’ll be weirded out
B: He’ll still be my friend, but make me feel embarrassed and awkward about it
C: He’ll like me back (this one is what I’d like to call the ‘disconnection with reality’ option)
And D: he’ll yawn about it and say he doesn’t care and then casually go about his business
I REALLy like option D. . .I feel like I’m being such a girl by bitching about this. These are things middleschoolers worry about not college students. . .it just like telling someone you like them is very difficult, which is why I don’t do it. Tell me to lift heavy objects or jump over something, or do a boat load of school work. DON’T tell me to tell someone I like them. . .it will not be easy for me. . .well, I’m going to go study now to take my mind off THAT lol