After this weekend, I’ve chosen to rant about this because I’m getting in the mood of being a child again and I’m frustrated at the relationship that I witness everyday that does not cease to confuse the living hell out of me.
As an 18 year old, I may not understand marriage on a deep level because I haven’t experienced it. That’s obvious. Despite me not understanding it completely, that’s not going to stop me from bitching about it . . .unfortunately 😦
I feel like marriage, though, is similar to any other relationship. It requires immense effort and work, as well as time. No relationship is perfect, but involves two different halves acting as a whole, or equals in order to solve anything and everything. Two people acting as one, not only in order to conquer the world, but to love each other and be truthful and loyal to one another. Five year olds can do it. . . .
Now, when I say that, I do mean it seriously. When little children go to school they are taught to both learn and build positive relationships with one another that involve honesty, loyalty, trust, and . . .yeah. . . .love. A marriage is not a friendship, but the point I’m getting at is no matter what relationship it is, those basic concepts still apply and a CHILD can do it. . . .so why can’t an adult?
I understand as we get older our responsibilities change. You gain a mortgage, utility, a job, and possibly children. Your focus and goals can become a bit clouded, it’s understandable. In the grand scheme of things, though, keep in mind that in a marriage, it’s not just you that your worrying about anymore. It’s that wife/husband and possible kids that are still in need of everything physically, materialistically, and emotionally. Things aren’t meant to be tipped on a balance where one side does more than the other. There has to be balance between the two. A spouse cannot hold everything on their back, they need help, assistance, and partnership with another person.
Another thing that counts is love. Love is what gives support and comfort in hard times and laughs in good. It is meant to heal a family and a home, not tear it apart. Both people should keep this in mind and not let financial or materialistic lack get in the way of the wonderful thing that love is. Fighting the battle of getting over struggle that involves finances is something that proves to be difficult, I’ve seen it and experienced it: it’s not fun, but love is supposed to hold it together in ‘not so fun’ times.
I’m preaching from a perspective that witnesses a one-sided marriage everyday of my life and it’s painful. I try to see things from both sides, but it just seems jigsawed and distorted to me, nothing really substantial or important about it. If anything, these two people are together because of the large amount of children they have and nothing more *shrug* that’s just truth.
Do they try to make it work?: Sure, but one end tends to be a handful when it comes to treating the other with respect and decency. . . .Do they still love each other?: Maybe. . . . .but you wouldn’t be able to see it if you looked at them close enough. . . .
I’m a child, what would I really know about a complex topic such as this. Tell me? I know that I’m not well versed or highly intelligent, or extremely observant, or overly practical at the best of times, but I feel that without full understanding, I’m still entitled to an opinion based on being exposed to a terrible marriage first hand. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist or an extremely observant person, or a highly intelligent and overly practical person to see that ‘mommy and daddy don’t LIKE each other’. If an infant can sense a disturbance of some sort, what makes it so impossible? We under estimate the cognitive ability and reasoning of children, I think. Personally, I feel the older you get, the less you understand, which is why I feel more child like than most of my age group.
A topic like this though, of a simple relationship isn’t really hard for anyone to understand. It’s a matter of taking the basics into consideration and implicating them wisely. Sounds easier than it looks, and looks easier than it sounds.